Animated Atrocities #55

Animated Atrocities #55: Let’s Get Serious (Toddler Titans)
Did you really think I was going to stop at just one review of this show? Actually, I did not at the time of my Friendship review have any immediate plans for more reviews of this show, but I was thinking that I might do one for a filler atrocity. I also knew that should I hear about the show doing something heinous again I would cover it, but I didn’t think they would, unless they made ANOTHER episode making fun of bronies. Yes, this show really did something else bad enough that I absolutely must review it. It’s one thing to be a bad show, or a bad writer. It’s another thing ENTIRELY to shield yourself from criticism. This episode is the show showing that it’s aware that it killed off action cartoons on Cartoon Network entirely-and is fucking proud of itself for doing so! Yes, it’s that bad. What also pisses me off is that I recently found out that this is the highest rated show on the network, and on kids’ TV in general, even beating SpongeBob! Fuck, and I thought one demon was bad enough. With Hub dead, Nick having gone bad six years ago, Cartoon Network starting to go bad, Disney having literally zero cartoons, and Nicktoons and TeenNick having become dead weight, I am really afraid for the future of kids’ cartoons. Add that on top of the fact that adult cartoons and anime dubs are going extinct, and we’re clearly headed for another dark age of animation. 90s kids used to have a point in the late 00s, and they’re about to have a point again.
This episode begins with three villains stealing something. Who they are and what they’re stealing doesn’t matter because this is one of the very few occasions where the show has shown anything even remotely resembling the type of conflicts you normally get in a comedic superhero show. It can be fair to say that this show shouldn’t be compared to the original, but it IS fair to compare it to other (and much better) comedic superhero cartoons, like My Life as a Teenage Robot and El Tigre, which actually have some action and don’t focus ENTIRELY on comedy. The Toddler Titans step in, and Robin gives them a talk, and then we hear a fart noise because this show can’t go thirty seconds without a juvenile joke. This happens a second time, and all four of the other Toddler Titans laugh, EVEN RAVEN. Wow, I guess the writers have decided to start wrecking her character after all. It happens a third time because the writers think that telling the same joke multiple times in a row is even remotely funny. Actually, it’s quite possible they don’t think that, as this episode is proof that this entire show exists to troll the fans of the original. Robin goes up to them and tells them to stop doing this, and we see that Beast Boy is making the sound with his tongue. Typical; it’s Beast Boy who they’ve made the most immature. The other Toddler Titans tell Robin to stop taking things so seriously, INCLUDING RAVEN. Robin says that since they’re the only superheroes in town, they have to take this seriously. Then the Young Justice characters come in and defeat the villains. Now, I’m going to admit that while I like Young Justice, I think it’s overrated and has a problem with being extremely melodramatic in places where it shouldn’t be. My favorite superhero cartoons of all time are Danny Phantom and Iron Man: Armored Adventures, because they can have both comedy and action without falling into the extremes of either Toddler Titans or Young Justice. YJ basically had the opposite problem of this show. That combined with the fact that this episode is making fun of it and its fans only rubs salt in the wound of this show having replaced that one directly. Problem Solverz didn’t fucking replace Sym-Bionic Titan; the fact that it went on the air around the same time that SBT got cancelled is a coincidence. That show was actually replacing Robotomy, which no one fucking remembers, while SBT was replaced by ThunderCats.
Robin approaches Aqualad and compliments him on his fighting. Aqualad halfway ignores him, and says something about Robin going to a pie eating contest to shame him, and says that the Toddler Titans have brought shame to real superheroes. Well, no shit, this show is the show that killed the DC Nation block. This show also is proof that DC really is losing its game compared to Marvel. Robin says that Aqualad shouldn’t be criticizing them, as both teams try to take down supervillains, and then we see Starfire and Raven unleashing Terra to have a girls’ night out. A THIRD example of the writers wrecking Raven’s character beyond all belief. Aqualad says that superheroes are supposed to teach valuable lessons, and brings up the stupidity of the episodes Books and Burgers Vs. Burritos. I’m not fucking kidding. They actually bring up two season one episodes that are great examples of the show being lowest common denominator bullshit. You cannot deny that the writers are going out of their way to insult their critics by having Aqualad bring up every problem people have with this show, and choosing a character from a cult hit show that THIS SHOW DIRECTLY REPLACED. I haven’t felt this insulted by an episode since Not All Dogs Go To Heaven.
Robin asks what’s so bad about being silly from time to time. Hey dumbass writers, it’s the original show that was silly from time to time; your piece of shit is ALWAYS silly. Balance is good, and this show totally lacks it. Like I’ve said before, watch Teenage Robot and El Tigre to see this genre at its best. Aqualad gets pissed at Robin and leaves.
Back at the Titan Tower, Robin is talking in a rough voice and wearing a cape around his shoulders, and he says something about his dead parents. The other Toddler Titans express discontent at this seriousness, INCLUDING RAVEN. Robin goes back for a bit to his regular voice, and confirms Starfire’s suspicion that he’s mad that he’s not considered a real hero and wants to prove that the Toddler Titans are real heroes. At one time they were, folks, at one time they were. Robin says they’re all jokesters, even Raven. POINTING OUT YOUR PROBLEMS DOES NOT MAKE THEM GO AWAY! Actually, that’s not even a nitpick; this entire fucking episode is about shitty lampshading. Then we get a cutaway gag of Raven doing a shitty standup comedy act. Oh wait-I just said something redundant. Thanks a lot, Family Guy, thanks to you, this kind of comedy is popular now; interestingly enough, overly long gags and cutaways pop up more often in kids cartoons than adult cartoons. Laziness truly does take inspiration from laziness. Robin says, “Try all you want, Raven, but you’re not funny! None of you are!” Then we see the rest of the Toddler Titans, INCLUDING RAVEN, getting really fucking stupid looks on their faces. Robin continues, “Aren’t you tired of being two dimensional? Look at Cyborg-he’s half man, half machine!” “I know! Pretty cool, right?” “No, it’s not pretty cool! In fact, it should be tearing you apart. Are you a man? Or a machine?” Yes, the writers are mocking one of the most important internal conflicts of the original show. They’re that fucking disrespectful to the original show. Then Starfire asks, “Could not being more serious fracture the team?” Robin says that it’s necessary to do so to become stronger, and that all the characters should be struggling.
The Toddler Titans become teenagers like they once were by getting more realistic and more muscular designs, and we hear a stupid song about them getting serious. The Teen Titans eat breakfast, and Robin asks who would like to sing a song about pie. Seriously? I thought you guys were going to be serious for once. Oh wait-you’re literally a bunch of internet trolls. Cyborg says he can’t because he’s too unhappy and conflicted. Raven says, “We should’ve gotten serious years ago.” Once upon a time, you WERE serious. Robin says that the Teen Titans are no longer a disgrace. Then they get an alert that some supervillains are building a missile to destroy the world. Starfire tries to seduce Robin, but he tells her that they don’t have that kind of time.
They spy on the villains at nighttime because that’s the most serious time to fight crime. No seriously, Robin actually says that. We get another joke about Cyborg being afraid of losing his humanity, and we get another joke about Starfire wanting to tell Robin that she wants to have sex with him. Guys, if you want to insult your critics, can you at least have the fucking dignity to not be repetitive while doing so? The villains are about to launch their weapon, but the Teen Titans come in to fight them. They launch the weapon, and the Teen Titans beat them up. Then they destroy the weapon using Cyborg’s technology combined with Beast Boy turning into a dinosaur. The Young Justice team comes to compliment them on their serious work, and Aqualad says he’s glad they’re finally serious, but thinks they might be too serious. You know, I would just LOVE it if Cartoon Network was to ever again put on a show as serious as Young Justice, even if it was worse at melodrama than Young Justice.
The Teen Titans go back to their tower, and Beast Boy gets into an argument with Cyborg over why he drank juice that belonged to Beast Boy. Beast Boy says he can’t trust Cyborg anymore, and Robin tells them to stop arguing because it was just juice. Raven says, “The monster inside me is feeding on your anger. I don’t know who I am anymore!” Really? You just HAD to make fun of Raven’s internal conflict, one of the deepest ones in any superhero show ever? It would be one thing if this episode could be written off as a parody of Young Justice, but they aren’t stopping there. They’re also mocking the original and mocking their own critics. This is the television equivalent of Onision calling meat eaters cannibals or hgwqhge03 calling all of his critics fantards. Actually, it would be the equivalent of that AND hgwqhge03 also mocking PIEGUYRULZ and RebelTaxi simultaneously for liking shows that he doesn’t. And no, I wouldn’t put it past him to do that. I wouldn’t put ANYTHING past a person who accuses people who like Adventure Time of necrophilia because he thinks a moving vampire that can give consent counts as a corpse. I swear, if he was living fifty years ago, he’d be one of the loudest opponents of interracial marriage.
Robin slaps Raven in the face and tells her to get a hold of herself. Starfire starts crying over the team breaking apart. Everyone continues to scream, and the tower blows up. We get a next week bumper, and it shows us the same silly faces from earlier, because this show likes to be repetitive.
What more can I say? These writers are directly insulting their critics with their very show. I can’t think of any other show that has stooped to this low. There is no more sense in dignifying this piece of shit. They say don’t feed the trolls, so I hopefully won’t review this show again, but if they do something really horrendous, I will get back to it. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.